Zugzwang

Luneta Chess Club
April 13, 2015
Zugzwang

What is happening with Wesley So?
First, he’s on top of the world after zooming to as high as No. 5 to start the US Chess Championships in Saint Louis, Missouri. After that six-move, ninth round forfeiture loss to GM Varuzhan Akobian, So has quickly fallen. Perhaps in quicksand. And sinking deeper. He has responded by winning his last two games against GMs Gata Kamsky and Kayden W Troff to salvage a third place finish.
But his most important battle on the personal front remains.
It has come into the open that Elanor So, Wesley’s mother, and Lotis Key-Kabigting, the one who is claiming to be his foster parent, are waging a war for control of the 21-year-old Wesley. Whoever wins, get’s Wesley. Including his assets.
And I will just post the stories that came out at chessdailynews.com and chessdom.com concerning about the raging So tug-of-war and let you decide on it.
Read on:

WESLEY SO’S MOTHER SPEAKS OUT

Wesley So and Leny So

Interview with Leny So, Wesley’s So Mother, by Chessdom – The agreement is that the interview would only be published after the start of the final round not to distract Wesley’s play.

Wesley So was forfeited in round nine of the 2015 U.S. Chess Championship for making notes on the paper under his scoresheet.

The arbiter’s decision has caused an avalanche of comments on the social networks.

Mike Klein, who is present at the event in Saint Louis, hasposted a useful timeline of the facts.

But an article in Star Tribune sparked further controversy:

“As the shock over the forfeit reverberated at the Chess Club and Scholastic Center of St. Louis, the Minnetonka family that So lives with said it was time to explain publicly what has been behind his poor performance in the event.”

Daaim Shabazz of @thechessdrum posted: “Paul Truong speaks out on the So incident”

Chessdom.com contacted Wesley’s mother Eleanor So to learn more than just what has been behind his performance in the event.

Chessdom: Thank you for taking your time under stressful circumstance to clarify what took place. In the past 24 hours, you are being accused by a Lotis Key of sabotaging your son Wesley So’s chess career. Is that true?

Leny So: First, let me say that I had not agreed to do any interview so far because I wanted to protect my son. I love him and nothing changed that. But now that my family and I are being smeared by Lotis Key in the media, I have no choice but to set the record straight. I am confident that your readers will understand the whole truth after this.

Wesley So, Leny So, and Susan So Leonard

Please let me start from the beginning. After Millionaire Chess, Lotis Key and her family drove to St Louis to visit my son. She took my son out of school to stay with her for nearly a week in a rented place.

As a student on a chess scholarship, he had obligations with the chess program, even during the winter break. He did not have permission to leave school and ignored his obligations. He lost his chess scholarship.

At the period that Lotis became involved with my son, his behavior changed. He became cold and distant to his friends and family. For the first time, he did not even call or wrote me on my birthday. This is not like him at all.

But the worst came late in January 2015 during Tata Steel Chess, when my husband got into a very serious accident. His life could have ended. But I did not tell Wesley because I did not want to disturb his tournament.

William So-001

I waited until after the tournament. He did not offer to fly to Toronto to visit his father. He showed very little concern. He instead went with Lotis and her family to Manila. There was a big incident there which I just recently found out but that is for another day. All he could talk about is to take all the money which he asked us to keep for him under his name in Canada and transfer it to Minnesota. I could not freely talk to my son anymore.

My family and I discussed this matter at length and we decided since someone is blocking us access to our own son, we had to try to see him in person to help him.

After many weeks of discussing this in the family, I asked my sister in law to accompany me on the trip to visit Wesley in St. Louis. She is the sister of my husband, and Wesley was also very close to her. This is the only tournament in the near future for Wesley in the US.

We contacted Mr. Paul Truong, former coach of Wesley at Webster University, about the US Championship since it is held in St. Louis. He told us that he did not know the exact details of the US Championship and he has not spoken to Wesley since after Wesley left St. Louis in October.

But he gave us the official link www.uschesschamps.com. We got all the information from that website and booked our trip accordingly.

I also asked that while in St. Louis, can my sister in law and I visit SPICE and Webster University, the place which helped my son went from #98 in the world to the top 10. Mr. Truong graciously said of course, but his time is very limited since 3 of his students are competing in the US Championships and he has to help them.

When we arrived to St. Louis, we met Wesley the night before the Opening Ceremony. He was very happy to see us. The only person who looked not happy was Lotis Key. She was visibly upset when she saw me and my sister in-law.

Leny So & Wesley So

Here are some important facts:

Fact 1.

This woman is claiming that I am sabotaging my son. Please think about the logic of this. I am a mother, I have no reason to want to sabotage my son. More importantly, for the entirety of Wesley’s career, I have never done a move that sabotaged or harmed him. On the contrary, I have always helped him pack his bags, arranged his tournaments, do his taxes, etc.

Anyone can judge from a long past record that I have never been a stage mom who interfered with my son’s career. Why would I start sabotaging my son now? There is no motivation for sabotage. There is no past behavior for sabotage. More importantly, there is not even a shred of proof for a supposed sabotage.

While on the contrary, by making this accusation, this woman is implying that she is protecting my son from a ‘sabotage’ from us. Now I have to ask myself: what kind of behavior is this woman manifesting by labeling Wesley’s mere contact with his mother and aunt through visitation a ‘sabotage’? What motivation could this woman have, for being someone he only met in September 2013, to suddenly spend so much of her time by Wesley’s side and being so ‘protective’ of his ‘welfare’? Perhaps further facts below will help explain this.

Fact 2.

Wesley met Lotis Key and her family again after winning first prize and monetary award in the Millionaire’s Chess Competition, and right after, he started actively exhibiting behavior that led to the revocation of his university scholarship and surprising, sudden transfer of residence with Lotis Key’s family in Minnesota.

Specifically, he left school without permission, ignored his contractual obligations with the university chess team, and refused to meet with his coaches to discuss his issues.

During this period, Lotis Key also sent me and my son emails saying that I was ‘emotionally blackmailing’ my son because I encouraged my son to stay in school, or at least discuss his issues with his coaches, friends, or university officials before making a final, life-changing discussion.

She labeled it as an issue of an independent young man who is not allowed to ‘make his own decisions’ for ‘his needs’, who is being ‘crushed’ because we are ‘forcing him to fulfill (our) dreams’.

Let me reiterate that I have never been a stage mom who pushed Wesley to pursue chess. Merely a mom who encouraged him to open a dialogue explaining to us why he wanted to leave a promising education, in a world where a college degree is recognized as necessary. We did not do this in a forceful manner and we have all the emails.

In any case, this argument is moot, as the person supposedly helping Wesley pursue independence accompanies him everywhere, sleeps in his own hotel room, involves herself in the minutiae of his affairs.

Fact 3.

Lotis Key started claiming on several media articles that she was Wesley’s Mother, not mother-in-law, or some kind of invented mother title. Mother! It is already curious that this woman should suddenly be so central to Wesley’s media appearances in the first place.

Yet even Filipino journalists who knew Wesley’s real parents started to circulate the false information to the world: Eliseo Tumbaga: “…Wesley’s Mom told the senators that if ever he gets the financial incentives that he expected to get from the Philippine Sports Commission for winning the gold at the Universiade…”

It was mentioned in other places that Lotis’ husband is Wesley’s father.

Various organizers were told that Lotis Key is his Mom. A number of chess players were also told that she is his Mom. Many people were very confused as they knew who I was. I felt that my identity was stolen.

When Wesley went to the Philippine Senate to be personally recognized for his gold medals, this woman did not inform us. Yet she posed in the pictures with the Senate with him in the place of recognition. There was no explanation provided as to what capacity she is serving to deserve his media spotlight. There is no contract that stipulates her as his manager, or any professional capacity.

More concerning, at the U.S. championship, Lotis stayed in the same room with my son, the room which was provided by the organizer, and he was not even allowed to have his own key to his own room.

Fact 4.

Wesley’s aunt, whom he has long held in high regard, and I went to visit him in his US Championship because we were really troubled by the seriousness of the situation. Upon our arrival, Wesley happily met us before the Opening Ceremony and won his first two games.

There was absolutely no issue. For more hard proof, we also attach here pictures showing me, his aunt and Wesley. You can clearly see how happy Wesley was.

Leny So and Wesley So

After his first game, we invited Wesley to spend a few hours of alone time with me and his aunt. We asked him how he is doing. He said that he missed us. We told him that we care for him and worried about his welfare. We came with an open mind, but all observations, there is something wrong. This is not about school. We understand about him going professional and we support it.

Wesley So, Leny So, Susan So Leonard at Opening Ceremony

Fact 5.

Clearly after the next day, he changed completely. I asked him after he won in round 2 if we can have 30 minutes with him because we are going home on Saturday.

He said he is busy, and said he sent me an email about bank info in Canada. I was calling him but ignored me. Lotis told him something like he needed to be back to his room, and they walked hurriedly, leaving us behind.

The next day, we were banned from the playing venue by Ms. Joy (St. Louis Chess Club) and Ms. Jean (USCF), as per instructed of Wes.

Wesley So & Leny So

Fact 6.

For years, Wesley always entrusted his savings with his dad, which were all in Canadian bank, excluding his latest earnings starting winnings in Millionaire’s chess.

On April 7, 2015, I received an email saying, “Give me all my bank information, my savings, and all the investment that you made there.” I simply told him to come to Canada.

I then received 3 emails which are very disturbing. Wesley has never used this kind of language to me before.

What is even more disturbing is the last 2 emails came at the time when Wesley was still playing his games. This clearly shows that Lotis was purposely trying to drive a bigger wedge between my son and I.

“From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxx>

Date: Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 10:36 PM

Subject: Re: Bank Details in Canada

To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxx>

Dear Leny,

You must be f…cking happy that I am losing all my games here in the US Championships. You ruined my tournament and you only care about yourself. I don’t ever want to see you on any of my tournaments again….

PUTANG INA KA TALAGA. I PUT THE BLAME ON YOU FOR RUINING THIS F…CKING TOURNAMENT.

Wesley

From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxx>

Date: Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 3:03 PM

Subject:

To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxx>

You know, F…CK YOU …. for ruining my tournament….PUTANG INA. You are the most worthless mother I know.

From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxxx>

Date: Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 4:54 PM

Subject:

To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxxx>

And you know you better not steal my money in Canada. I don’t care nawalangkwenta kayo ni William namagulang, just give me back ALL my savings. MAGNANAKAW”

Fact 7:

Lotis Key’s argument to separate Wesley from his family is to say that we should respect that Wesley is now 21, he now has a right to be independent, and thus to refuse contact from his family, leave school, and take his money if that is his decision.

We are not arguing that a 21-year-old man should not make his own decisions and be independent. We are very, very worried that someone is making his wrong decisions for him, and putting the words and actions in his mouth for him to claim as his own, like a mouthpiece.

We are strongly concerned because, despite Lotis Key saying that all her actions are for Wesley’s welfare and help him carve out the independence he wants, she sleeps in his own hotel room. She creates and manages his personal website, wesleyso.com, and made him transfer to a new email account hosted by her same host.

She accompanied him to the Netherlands, the Philippines, and Ireland. She took his previous trophies in the Philippines from his previous supporter, who held them for safekeeping, and packed them over to her own house, without telling his family.

Furthermore, she personally told us, when enumerating all the benefits that Wesley got form her, that she has to accompany him 24/7, that she takes care of all his social media—meaning Wesley doesn’t interact personally when messaging in his internet, that she takes care of all his diet, his clothing, and helps him prepare to look like a champion.

Does this look like independence? No.

It is very scary for all of us, especially my husband and I. We see the transformation of our son, a strong independent young man, to now needing someone to comb his hair, dress him, feed him, and a becoming a dependent zombie.

Isolating him from his friends, former coach, and from his own family is very strange. We are at the end of our rope and don’t know how to proceed.

This pattern of what Wesley is facing now is similar to Bobby Fischer in Pasadena. We all know what happened to Bobby Fischer after Pasadena. He was never the same. It scared us even more after what Lotis wrote publicly:

“Bobby Fischer lived in my older sister’s house in Pasadena. There is no mystery to Wesley wanting to live with us. He is a good fit here, as we all enjoy each other’s company.”

Chessdom: Very sorry to hear all of this. Hope you can resolve all the problems.

Leny So: Thank you. I have done everything to protect my son. But my heart broke to think that he has changed in such a short period of time and I worry for him.

To be fair, let me also post a response by a Facebook site claiming to be Wesley So. Assuming this is really him.

Here it is:

Let me state right at the top of this that I write my own emails and NO ONE controls my communication, or when and how I choose to communicate. I am not cut off, isolated, drugged, in bondage or kidnapped. I do not belong to anyone but God. I am a man who wishes to be let alone to find his own life.

Leny So, I was NOT HAPPY that you suddenly showed up in my life, unannounced, at the biggest tournament of the year, and that you came with Susan Leonard whom I hardly know. In the last six years I’ve only see you once a year for about a week, I hardly know you either. And you certainly don’t know me to even suggest that I am anyone’s personal zombie.

All your statements to Chessdom are sad, ridiculous and completely untrue. You exposed my emails? Should I send out a few of the many you’ve sent me over the years where you call me putang ina mo (kinda funny that) and threaten me with being cut off from the So family forever if I do not do what you want?

Photos can lie and those do. I was desperately trying to be nice hoping you and Susan would leave more quickly. I see it was a mistake. Lotis even invited you to come to Minnesota to talk to me there, not here. What was your answer to her? You asked if she was going to pay for it.

I am uncomfortable around you. You want me to respect you but you have never respected me. You left me when I was sixteen, telling me to become a man and find my life. Well I have found it, you just don’t like it.

For your information it was not the Key family who wanted to go to the media. It was me who pushed them to speak out for me because I was going crazy with anger, after you revealed to us your involvement with Paul Truong (come on, you know you told me right here in my room that he had given you my flight information, arrival time and room number). You insisted that was all it was and you never met him or saw him. Yet right there on Chessdom are pictures of you posing at Webster.

Calling your room to check if you had left yet, the operator would not give me the information unless I gave them the name of the person in the room. I tried your name. No. I tried Susan’s name. No. Then I guessed Paul Truong and yup, the operator told me that was the name on the credit card. She even spelled it out for me.

That was when I had you banned from the Chess Club because you were lying to me from the moment you said hello. The stress of finding out your betrayal ruined my tournament.

Screaming curses at me in the street, grabbing my arms and trying to drag me along with you? Humiliating me in public? Your way of showing love? And you think it strange that I ask people I trust to be with me all the time? I ask the Key family to accompany me to tournaments to help me. It does not isolate me, it protects me.

Stop blaming our terrible family relationship on the innocent family that has provided me with help and support. They took me in when I needed someone and have worked hard to guide and nurture me. They take nothing at all from me and you know that. They are always there for me helping me at great inconvenience to their own lives, and instead of thanking them you have maligned and smeared them to make yourself look like a loving, concerned mother. Lotis was always advising me to try and repair my relationship with you and I could never explain why I just can’t. At least now she can see it for herself.

So how about my bank account numbers please? You know? My life savings you said were keeping for me when I was a minor? I have already contacted Royal Bank of Canada, and strangely, the bulk of my savings is not there. Want to explain that publicly?

And those furious emails I sent you were certainly not written during match times because I wrote them myself, here in my hotel room. The Key family never even saw, or knew about them.

Wesley So

Sportsmaryosep’s Prognosis: People are saying that the issue sabotaged So’s US Championship bid. But I say, the tragedy is more on why Wesley So is acting like this. It’s beyond me why anyone could tell that to a mother. It sickens me more that Wesley is making everyone know his supposed hatred to his mother and family? This is, of course, assuming it is really Wesley who is posting these comments. But I doubt it. I have known Wesley before he became what he is now. He will not stoop that low. I know, people change, but did Wesley turn this evil? The explanation of Leny So make sense to me. No mother in his right mind would do this to his son. That, I firmly believe. She is not heartless. But I couldn’t say that to other side. Wesley is trapped, ladies and gentlemen. But it is my fervent hope that Wesley finds a way out of this bind.

Or he can just say goodbye to his dreams.

Follow me on Twitter: @JoeySVillar

(All photos here are from chessdom.com and chessdailynews.com)

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3 thoughts on “Zugzwang

  1. Hi Joey. Since my name was mentioned by Leny So, I feel compelled to explain the phrase “his Mom” when I referred to Lotis Key-Kabigting… Wesley calls Lotis “Mom,” and sometimes he refers to her as “Mommy Lotis.” At the Tata Steel super-tournament last January, he referred to the Kabigting family as “my family” during post-game interviews. For example: “I’m happy because my family is here with me. Last year I was all alone.” Let me just state, for the record, that the family referred to at Wijk aan Zee were Lotis, her husband Renato ‘Bambi’ Kabigting, and their daughter, Abbey Key… At the U.S. Championship, Wesley referred to Lotis as “my foster mother” during a post-game interview with GM Maurice Ashley. In previous posts and comments on Facebook, I have referred to Leny So as Wesley’s biological mother and to the Kabigting family as his adoptive family in Minnesota… It’s not up to me to sort out the complicated relationships between Wesley and the people in his life. That’s their business, not mine. In fact, I have carefully avoided mentioning the name of Lotis as Wesley’s mother . Instead, I use the generic “his Mom” to refer to Lotis when writing about his family in Minnesota… I hope these things will be clear to all concerned.

    • Of course. Thanks for commenting and reading my blog. Your comments can now be seen by all my readers in this site. Much Thanks. All of us are one for the welfare of Wesley So.

  2. I’ve seen him many times in many tournaments and we even played once (I lost)… That kid is very humble and good-natured and his change in behavior greatly confuses and worries me. If he is claiming and quoting himself as a “Christian” then he’s got some big problems and I hate to bring the news to him that is on the contrary a very un-christian behavior. The mother might not come clean also but she can ask Lotis who is a famous Dolphy other woman this… Where were you when Wesley was small?… and to Wesley… Wake up!… If you’re a christian then you must remember the ten Commandments!

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